Every year, people make a list of the things they want to change or do in their life also known as the “New Year’s Resolution”. For the first quarter of the new year, people would be so eager to push themselves in fulfilling their list, but few would actually end the year with their list all ticked off.
I was never a fan of this. But in the year 2013 I realized that I have to set a goal for the entire year to fully commit my life with Christ. It was not a pad paper full of things but a word that will make me full.
2012 was the year of smart phones, selfies, hashtags and social media. It is easy to fall to the temptation of being envious and insecure to what you see on Facebook. It is bad and I don’t promote this but I was a victim of it.
I used to take a lot of selfies, take photos of the things I buy just so I can show off and it really reflected on my personality. I was insecure, wanting to have more and made social media my life. It was bad for myself and at the same time bad for the people who sees it and then gets tempted and go beyond their means.
Then it hit me. No matter how many provocative selfies or boastful posts, my life will still be the same. I will still have the same problems as before and I will never be happy with myself.
2013 came and I prayed for CONTENTMENT. All the things I do, all the decisions I have to make needs to revolve around the idea of contentment. Humans will never get the satisfaction that they want. After one success, we don’t stop. We push until we forget who we are and then eventually hurt ourselves and others. Although there is nothing wrong in wanting more, it’s just that sometimes we want the wrong things. We chase after the bad and then plunge ourselves in sin.
It is just through CONTENTMENT that we will experience true joy and to my surprise, God did give me a contented heart for that year. Through it, my eyes were opened and I saw the good.
In the year 2013 I fell in love with the book of Proverbs. Everything you need to know about wisdom is there and if you will apply it to your life you will never go astray. It was also the year I got pregnant with our second child and as happy as I was, I also felt worried if we could make it in 2014. So I prayed for God to guide us and give us WISDOM.
It is very much impossible to make the right choices if you are not wise. And by wise I mean judging by the truth, not deceiving people to get ahead of them.
I focused myself on being wise, flipped the pages of the Bible whenever I don’t feel confident about my thoughts and God proved himself to be faithful and blessed me with WISDOM this year.
JOY AND INNER PEACE
2014 is such a crazy year for me. Mike has just joined a new company, we just started homeschooling Ryry and of course the new baby; all of which are way too overwhelming (not to mention solving issues here and there). All these made it so hard for me to come to the Lord and embrace him.
When I was still practicing yoga, we were taught to leave all our baggage outside the classroom, to come in with empty mind and focus on our postures. I never succeeded—mostly because I think too much. The thoughts never want to vacate my head. All the issues this year drowned me to sorrow and depression most of the time. Though it won’t reflect my face, it’s eating me up inside.
There will be times I would hate my life, my husband and kids, my God. I was shaken most especially on the last quarter of this year. 2014 ruined my heart. I became bitter for a moment.
Then I was reminded to stop solving other people’s issues. If you know me you would attest that I am that person who you can easily approach and tell your problems to then somehow find answers for you. I know it was a good trait but it somehow pulled me down.
Maybe for some this may sound a little cruel or selfish but I need to focus on my heart this 2015.
Call it soul searching or whatever but I need to appreciate me to appreciate all that I see. I want to strengthen my heart so I will stand firm for all of the people who need me.
I need to find JOY AND INNER PEACE this New Year. I have to stop the negativity and bad vibes. My heart needs to be pure when I bring myself to God. And this might mean that I have to give up on people who have been pulling me down for a while now. I have been saying this for years but I never actually do it. This time I will be strong.
A step back is what I need. I am waiting for the Lord to fill my cup and that won’t happen if it is always full. Full of issues, full of sorrow, full of bitterness.
So dear 2015, you got me. You got my full attention. I will offer the Lord my empty heart and let him pour his grace in it.