So ever since we moved in to our own place, it has been the hardest time of our lives — having no one to help you with chores and the kids, sure we don’t get to rest and do things as usual. I have this anti-helper mentality (at least for now!) because: 1. It’s not in our budget, 2. I don’t like to live with a stranger and have her occupy our precious little space and 3. I had a very, very bad experince with my previous hired help and I think I’m not yet over it.
One month of independence and we decided to be normal people and attend not one but two parties last weekend. I thought, “hey! These people are important to us and such gatherings must be attended.” So I adjusted my weekend schedule which is usually Saturdays are for market, grocery, laundry and general cleaning while Sundays are for cooking and rest. In between nursing, I tried to fit all chores in the morning and went out in the afternoon, exhausted but it was successful!
Saturday afternoon was spent with my highschool friends as we celebrate Des and Chad’s new bundle of joy! It was a simple gathering of close relatives and friends in the south. It was a fair, easy day for us. Went home just before the truck ban began and the kids are amazingly tired and went to bed straight!
Sunday afternoon we went back to the south for Annie and Eric’s son, Ean’s 1st birthday. It was a cute green-y party! Food was amazing, especially the dessert and the set-up is lovely. The kids had so much fun playing the games and eating their bento food. We had to wrap up our weekend and went to bed with happy tummies.
Monday came and so is the stress. Miguel went back to crying duties, Ryry to “I don’t like school” attitude and Mike had a bad tummy ache and wasn’t able to go to work (not so happy tummy for him!).
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday came and it was intense. The crying, the disobedience, the budgeting, the chores, the summer heat, all drove me crazy! I didn’t even know how is it that I am still alive.
I started questioning the Lord why are my kids being difficult. I am faithful with my quiet time and for obeying him, I cry to him whenever, wherever and still I was depressed this week, feeling troubled and worried with my life, with our life.
Last night Mike and I stayed up late to watch TV and as I prepared for bed before midnight, Miguel woke up and I thought maybe he just wanted to nurse. Nope. He really was awake and so is the big sister. Both were on their playtime mode. After two hours, both went back to sleep but Miguel decided to wake up at 6:30 this morning. I really wanted to give up. I mean I can’t run the day without decent sleep!
There’s definitely no coffee time (my Bible time) with God today and by still being terribly insane from yesterday, the other day and the day before that I decided to just throw in the towel and seriously don’t want to care about today, lock up the doors and stay inside the room.
But there goes my Bible app notification saying I got to read today’s verse. So while the bubba is playing peacefully I clicked on the app and read:
1 Samuel 1:7 NIV
This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.
I got curious and got confused so I read the entire chapter…
The Birth of Samuel
1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite[a] from the hill countryof Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.
3 Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to theLord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. 4 Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters.5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lordhad closed her womb. 6 Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house.10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
My depression this week is neither because my kids are really difficult nor the Lord is being quiet, it is because the devil knows where and how to strike me — via my PATIENCE. I am the worst when it comes to waiting, especially waiting for the Lord.
Hannah cried and wept and got mad, but she did not stop seeking God and God saw her heart so he gave her what she have been asking for.
It was the assurance I was searching for the entire week. It was in my face this morning.
Right after I gave Miguel a bath this morning, he slept for 4 hours straight.
I am so ready to put the crazy week that was behind me and start a new one but first let me share with you some photos Ryry took while she was playing with my phone. Most are with filters already as Ryry loves to put art on them and some are blurred but I think the photos she took are great for evidence that we did have a crazy week! Enjoy!