Have you ever felt like your prayer is not enough? That you have been praying for so long and enduring your problems yet God seems to not hear you? Sometimes it’s as if he turns his face away from you.
I don’t know what God wants to do with my life right now. My passion is to bake. I bake and sell and really worked hard to be good in what I do. But since I stopped for a while to take care of my youngest, my heart has been longing for the day that I can create again and remember how God blessed my hands.
So I prayed. God was quick to answer and has let me set up and given me wonderful ideas on what to do this time around. I am on fire. For a while I felt like nothing can stop me from achieveing my dreams until I was put on hold by the Lord. Facing one problem after another, all of my plans became vague.
It’s like calling an airline company where they put you on hold for an hour because all customer representatives are busy at the moment. It is very frustrating to be caught up in such situation. But I guess not the same as what the Israelites have felt for 40 years in the wilderness. That was big 4-0 years of going around the desert not knowing if there is really a land that is flowing with milk and honey.
God is mighty, all powerful and sovereign but why would he want for his people to go through troubles?
“And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.” So the Israelites did this.” Exodus 14:4
To be honest, he could have just sent all the plagues in one go or lead the Israelites to the quickest way possible to the promised land then all of them could have save more time and effort. But no. God inflicts pain and suffering because he WANTED TO BE KNOWN. He wanted to make sure that you and me will know that HE IS THE LORD.
God knows I’m bad at being patient (see Waiting is Boring). So here he is testing my endurance. How long will I hold? How will I handle being tested?
“Yet the Lord says, “During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other fermented drink. I did this so that you might know that I am the Lord your God.”” Deuteronomy 29:5-6
During the 40 years of wandering, have the Israelites gone hungry? No. There was a time where the wind brought meat to their camp enough to feed them until it comes out of their nostrils and loathed it (see Numbers 11:4-32). Was there a day that I went hungry? Did my kids ever cry because we have nothing to eat?
““Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”” Psalm 77:7-12
This Psalm of Asaph is just perfect. When God seems to be quiet and you think that nothing in your life is going right, reminisce. Reminisce on the days that God has been faithful to you: last year where he provided shelter for my family, last month when he healed my son, last week when my husband was very sweet to me, yesterday when the kids were very cooperative.
“Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 30:9-10
Do you love the Lord? I know you do, but do you love him WITH ALL YOUR HEART? Because if you do then obeying will never be a problem for you. God is a merciful and loving God but he is also a jealous God. He keeps on reminding the Israelites about this for the nations that he will drive before them are wicked and prostituting themselves to their gods. He is making sure that the praise and glory belongs to HIM ALONE.
Trials test our faith as fire tests and purifies gold. Once you passed the test, God will then open the floodgates of heaven and shower mighty blessings upon you. May not always be in the form of money (see Waiting is Boring) but blessings that will make me praise God for everything that he has done, yes, everything even the pain and suffering.
I don’t know if baking is still God’s plan for me but also I don’t want to think that God’s arm is too short to perform miracles. All I know right now is God wants me to wait upon him.
Yes I will hold for as long as you want me to. No, I have never gone hungry neither my kids cry because of hunger, thank you Jesus!