Have you ever been asked to lie for a person? That moment when someone asks you not to tell what she did or cover up? And usually it’s about the littlest things that people don’t even care about like lying about who paid dinner or who bought that gift or in more popular cases lie for publicity (FAME). It’s THAT situation I always avoid because I never should and want to lie. I know it’s kind of not a big deal to some but with a recent experience, I feel like this is one subject that should never be neglected— most especially in our own homes.
One busy morning, I let Ryry and Miguel play with Mike’s measuring tool because I don’t want to be disturbed and I can hear them laughing intensely so it looks like they’re really having a great time. Who would want to break that right? I know I shouldn’t let them since Mike hates it when the kids play with his tools and if he was there that moment I bet you he would have screamed already. But then again, a mother has to do what she has got to do…SOMETIMES.
The next day I didn’t want a encore of the “great show” so I hid the measuring tape to where it should be in the first place. Right on the clock, Ryry asked for the tool once again. At first I didn’t get what she was asking because she was playing mime games with me. Then I finally get it, “Oh! Daddy’s measuring tape! I already put it in the tool box because daddy doesn’t want you guys to play with it.” I really thought that would be the end of it until she replied, “but can we just don’t tell daddy, Miguel wants to play with it!”
Wha…whe…ho… My mind can’t even process the situation that a 6 year old can say such. Where have I gone wrong? Did I miss something?
Lying should never be tolerated in any case. At this point, she tried to make me an accomplice to a crime. The crime of cheating. It’s as if she told me, “just don’t say a word, it’s like nothing happened.” That simple.
Mindset of typical human beings— no witness, no crime. Nothing happened. But what if something happened? What if I let them play with the tool and it broke? Who would be held responsible? The kids can just get away with it by crying and saying they’re sorry but I will forever carry the fact that a thing was destroyed because I was an irresponsible parent. Moreover the thing was destroyed and they were hurt because of the sharp edges. I can never live with that.
It also led me to thinking why would an innocent child want to cheat her dad? She’s not different from a 30 year old caught by his own bed of lies. That 30 year old man can already tell that lying and cheating is terrible but this girl doesn’t and yet she knows how to play the game.
Ryry always has this million dollar question on her mind like why do we always have to eat or why do i have tears when I cry… One Sunday morning on the way to church she asked me if bad guys are real and why is there bad (things) in the world. She caught me by surprise so my answer was a bit vague. But I tried my best so I told her, “God allows bad things or evil things for us to realize that he is GOD.” I can sense she wasn’t satisfied neither am I so I tried to drop the conversation first since we already arrived at our destination.
After church I finally got a better answer. My mind and heart was clear. Even though God created heavens and earth perfectly as beautifully as we can imagine it will always go back to the day man was lured to sin. God cursed the entire land therefore no matter how great God is evil will always find a way to corrupt us. We are born with it.
Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
But the good news is, God gave us the gift of freewill, discerning hearts and minds, he gave us Jesus as redemption from our sins. It’s now up to us whether to obey or to continue to be astray.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
So I told my daughter, “no, I will not lie for you and we are not going to cheat daddy but we are going to tell him what you tried to do. Also you are grounded from all the gadgets.”
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
As for when people asks you and me to lie, I have found an amicable response, “I will respect your privacy if you don’t want people to know, but if they ask, I won’t lie.” After all, it is not our story to tell and it is not everyone’s business to know everything but make sure to draw the line.