Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
The first time I heard this song was the very first time I lifted my hands high over the many years I have been worshipping.
On my 18th birthday, my dad gave me cold cash as a present and the freedom to do whatever I want with the money, spend however I want to. In just one weekend I was able to splurge on the things I thought would make me significant—only to realize all the money was gone after.
This day, last year, I turned 27. I can still remember vividly all the worries I had in my life—paying rent on time, enough food for the family, my abnormal ovaries, my son was being sick all the time, delay in my children’s education. To be honest, that year wasn’t a glistening one. It was probably the worst year in my life but it changed me, especially my faith.
I can recall the number of times I was told that my faith wasn’t enough. That I needed to believe more, to experience more. Like many of us out there, I too was called a baby Christian. I was full of pride, of course. Negating the fact that it is okay to be a baby, that there will always be room to improve. In my eyes, I was already perfect.
But unlike a baby, I decided to grow. And it’s the best decision I have ever made. Yes, even better than marrying the love of my life or having kids.
Contrary to what most people believe, surrendering your life to the Lord isn’t always a jovial experience. The discipline I had to apply in my everyday life is as frustrating as finding a well in the middle of the desert. We’ve traded our weekend strolls for Bible studies and worship; the little time with family and friends for a deeper relationship with God. My usual meaningless mornings and excessive checking of social media, I replaced with devotions. At first I figured it would be easy as pie but building a habit involves great amount of self control.
Today I turn 28 and all I can think about is how God turned my problems to challenges. If last year we were having a hard time in maximizing our resources so we can make it each day, this year He made sure He had us covered. If last year Mike and I have been constantly fighting, this year He blessed us with His love. If last year my son was very sickly, this year He made sure we knew the cause of it. If last year we were delayed in homeschooling my daughter, this year He made sure we’d pick up the pace.
And above all, the unfathomable wisdom He has been pouring down on me. The wisdom I have been seeking to discern the gift of His grace.
Sure, challenges will never leave us, but I will never see them the way I used to before. Because now I know what it is to live a Storm-proof Life and not a storm-free one. Jesus is real in my life for I have made Him real. I am choosing to be faithful even if it’s the hardest thing to do.
Maybe by now you know why I love this song so much. My prayer is that you, too, get to enjoy the song and find your personal connection to it some way or another.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
All praise and glory to you, my God!