I remember this smile.
This was from a day full of laughters during our prenup photo shoot. I needed those smile. I remember.
I am a natural cheerful person. You can never see me with a long face that’s why I don’t understand when people judge me as snob because really, I am the most welcoming person ever. I love people. I love laughing. My husband would sometimes call me gullible because I would chuckle at every single joke he tells — the very reason why I fell in love with him.
But just like any other human beings, I also suffer from sadness once in a while. And during those times, it is very hard for me to grasp the idea. I would not accept that my life isn’t perfect.
Last week, after attending a wedding, I had a breakdown. I cried intensely for two days and I begged the Lord to make me understand why I had to deal with such pain. For two days I did not smile. Not even to my kids. Not even to the lady at the check out counter. For the first time in a very long time, I felt very broken.
Even My husband cannot fix me.
“The Lord is taking too long,” I said.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Finally, after two days, my heart was able to hear God. All I needed was a time with him. And you know what happens when you become willing to listen? The conversation just doesn’t end. That Sunday he impressed in my heart a few things:
Let down your pride.
Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts
Yes Lord, I am listening.
Talk to your Discipler.
Yes Lord, I will schedule a one on one with her.
You are not of this world, you are MINE.
This might be the biggest step I will take this year. I AM QUITTING SOCIAL MEDIA. I always knew that one of the causes of my many failed attempt to be a Proverbs 31 woman is because of Facebook/Instagram. Time and time again I try to defend these tools of communication, I always believe that we are to blame if the world is using social media in a bad way (i.e. spreading gossips, fighting online, bullying, pornography, etc.). But I was reminded during our Discipleship Group meeting about GIGO– Garbage In, Garbage Out. I know we have full control of what goes out of our life but that would be very difficult if we don’t control what goes in.
Just this afternoon, my husband sent me this wonderful article that exactly explains my many reasons: I deleted my Facebook account… He was on point. People are being divided. Friends quarreling. Facebook has become a show for great pretenders. All because of our desire to be wanted and loved.
I do not belong to this world. It is clear to me now why I feel sad sometimes, why I feel there are people who hate me…it’s because I am not part of this world. It is because I have been set apart for him who will come and redeem me.
When Jesus comes again, the world will know who you are— a prince/princess. You will be glorified. But in the mean time, you will have problems. -Ptr. Peter Tan-Chi
They say: The happiest person in the world is probably not on Facebook. There is truth in this quotation. Happy people are busy doing things to make them happy. And I want to be that person.
Christians are the most happy, joyful people because they have something the world does not posses. -Ptr. Peter Tan-Chi
The only social media that I’ll be keeping is this blog because being able to write and touch many lives has been my dream since high school and I know God approves of it too.
I’ve never serve in any ministry my whole life. It didn’t come as a surprise as well when God impressed this on my heart. I know he has been calling me for a very long time but I have all the excuses I needed not to serve him. But if we go back to the first thing he said to me, “If you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts…”
You know the reassurance that he is calling me to join a ministry? As we went up to the worship service last Sunday, we got a chance to ride the elevator with our senior Pastor and his wife. We had a small talk because they saw our kids wearing their I.D.s for Kids Church. He directly asked us if we are already serving in Sunday school and invited us to volunteer.
It wasn’t a coincidence. I know it was the Lord speaking to me to do it. He reiterated because it is his will.
You are designed by God, for God.
So by the time you read this, you won’t find me on Facebook or Instagram. But the good news is, I have more time for interpersonal communication— which is by the way my favorite subject in college. Let’s have coffee!